I have never put my real name on my own work. I don’t let people read my work. I have no family or friends that have read more than one of two pages and that is a rare occasion. The most they’ve read are research papers for school, but that is different. That isn’t as personal as this. I’ve been writing for years and posting my work on sites that allow me to hide myself. It allows me to use a username on the fics I write so no one knows who I really am. I’ve hidden behind this for ten years. I’ve written blog posts, journals, fanfiction, short stories, but none of them have my name on them.
I am ready to take that leap though. I have talked about writing a book for years, ideas swimming around my head. I want character that are like me. I want characters I can relate too. I’ve never seen one on TV or in a book and writing one would give other people the chance to find a character they relate too. I’ve started a few books, but I want to actually sit down and write something solid. I want to write something tangible even if it has no chance to get published. The worse they can do is say no so I might as well take the leap and go for it.
This blog has been done and redone for years. I tried to start something about a year ago, but I lost steam and chickened out. They are personal. They reveal a lot about your life. They require more work than I was willing to give a blog at the time, both emotionally and physically. I have tried to write journal posts to add to a blog one day, but it just didn’t work.
I’m at a good place now. I’m done with school for a while (hopefully not forever) and I have a job, like an adult job. I have a trip planned. I have a topic I actually want to read and write about. I love traveling. I love traveling tips. I love writing. Why not combine them? Why not give this blog thing a try again? I mulled it over for a few months before I took the plunge. I started out small on Instagram (@emexeriencestheworld) and tried my hand at captions and pictures. I finally felt comfortable after a few months and decided to take the plunge with the encouragement of a really good friend of mine. She is one of the few I even told about this whole ordeal.
This is the first time I plan on sharing the posts with my family. This is the first time I plan on sharing posts with my friends. This is the first time I plan on putting my name on my own work. This is a step I never thought would come. I’ve always been scared to put my work out there. I’ve always put a username on my work. So here it goes.
I’ve been dreaming of traveling the world my whole life. I want to visit all fifty states. I want to go to every country. I want to live abroad for a few months, or even years. It’s been on my mind since I was young and I find myself scared now that I actually have my first Europe trip planned. It was unexpected and last minute and it gives me no time to mentally prepare to leave for two weeks. I’m not going alone, which helps, but it is still a daunting idea for me.
I’m heading off to Scotland, England and Ireland in three weeks with a tour group. I had originally planned the trip for September, thinking I would have all summer to prepare for the trip, figure everything out. I’m not usually a last minute kind of person. I buy my flights to Florida two or three months before I go to be prepared. I like having solid plans months in advanced. I planned this trip in October for almost a year out. I planned it on a whim and was trying to ease myself into the idea. I don’t have time to ease myself anymore though. I’m leaving soon.
I don’t know why I scared either. I’ve talked about going abroad for years. I have also made excuses for years. I wanted to study abroad in school, but never got my act together. I’ve tried to travel abroad with friends, but they always back out or say no. I was using the whole no one to go with thing as a big excuse not to go. I found a tour group though, one that would make it so I wasn’t alone. I convinced my brother to go with me. I made it so I had no more excuses and planned the trip. I took the plunge. I almost took it back a few hours later (since you have 24 hours to back out), but I talked myself into not backing out. I’m just freaking out now that I’m leaving in three weeks.
I feel so unprepared for this trip. I’ve traveled a lot, but I’ve only ever left the East coast once. I’ve only been on a plane for three hours before. I’ve never left the time zone. I keep telling myself these things, but I have to stop. I have to hold myself up, do the research in the next few weeks and go. It’s too late to get out now. That isn’t how it works. I’m scared, but I need to do this anyway. I need to start this journey, because once I do, I know I won’t be able to stop. This is the first step in my travel journey and it’s scary, but I have to stand on my own two feet and stop making excuses. I need to overcome the fear by getting on that plane and going.
I may be scared to travel, but I’m not going to let that fear rule my life. I’m not going to let that fear crush my dreams now that they are actually happening.